YOUR PERSONAL REALITY

“We don’t see things as they are; we see them as we are.” --Anais Nin

PIVOTAL MOMENTS

In order to be able to stabilize THE FIVE ESSENTIAL ELEMENTS in our lives, we need to understand how our reality is created through our peceptions and experiences. A major obstacle to CONSCIOUS LOVE RELATIONSHIPS is our confusion about who is responsible for what happens to us and how we feel about it. This confusion is caused by two mistaken perceptions:

1. That others cause our reality. When we believe this, we feel pain, bitterness, anger and hate when we do not have what we want and need.

When we believe this, we feel pain, bitterness, anger and hate when we do not have what we want and need.

2. That we are the cause or creators of others' realities. This leads to feelings of guilt, shame, fear, bitterness, self-rejection, anger and hate, when others do not cooperate with us to as to create the positive reality we believe they must have in order for us to be successful and worthy as the "creators of their reality."

Such beliefs lead to co-dependent relationships that are much more susceptible to disappointment, bitterness, guilt, pain and of course conflict. Love requires that we take total responsibility for our reality and allow others to take responsibility for theirs.

Love relationships naturally thrive on caring for each other and helping each other as much as possible. It natural that we will ask for help and will loving offer help the others. But we cannot create their reality and they cannot create ours. Much love is lost when we blame others for the reality we ourselves are creating as well as when we blame ourselves for the reality they are creating for themselves.

Much love is lost when we blame others for the reality we ourselves are creating as well as when we blame ourselves for the reality they are creating for themselves.

How then do we create our personality reality?

The ability to love requires that we arrive at an even higher level of perception were we can understand that there are universal laws governing all that occurs in this universe. Scientists understand this in relationship to the physical and energy realms. Few however have totally understood this in terms of consciousness, mind, spirit, human will and fate.

All religions embrace the concept that spiritual laws govern all events in the universe according to a hidden wisdom and justice that is often difficult for us to understand. Spiritual philosophies teach us that all of creation is designed to facilitate the evolution of the soul, and that all that happens to each of us is exactly the stimulus we need in order to move forward in that evolutionary process.

Another spiritual precept is that each soul - personality is the sole creator of its personal subjective reality and that no other can create or be responsible for our reality. And in turn we cannot be responsible for or create others' realities.

Here are some factors that intertwine so as to create the matrix of our subjective personal reality.

Creating Reality Through Interpretation and Projection

1. We create our subjective reality by the way in which we interpret behaviors, situations and events. Unfortunately we often do not perceive what is there, but actually what we have been programmed to believe is there. It has been shown in scientific experiments that we have difficulty seeing what we do not believe. Our belief system works as a filter that subjectively and selectively interprets whatever is perceived in ways that corroborate what we already believe and ignores what we do not.

For example, if we believe that others will reject us and do not love us, we will interpret their actions as a form of rejection and lack of love for us even when that is not the reality. We have all been surprised by people who have misinterpreted our actions and believed that we had motives and feelings that we never had.

We do the same. We project onto persons and situations motives and dangers that simply are not there. When we do so, we experience fear, pain, bitterness, creating unnecessary unhappiness for ourselves and others.

We, however, may find that we have differing and often conflicting beliefs creating a confused reality. It may be useful here to discuss the various forms of belief systems. I would like to hypothesize some different categories of beliefs.

a. Emotionally Charged Impressions - These are not so much beliefs as "impressions", which are imprinted on the mind during traumatic experiences. The mind then identifies this particular stimulus with this emotionally charged feeling, and when we think of it, we feel fear and other emotions. We do not go through thinking processes here such as analyzing, evaluating and coming to conclusions. This kind of "belief" has a strong "emotional charge" but no actual inertia or mass, because it is not based on observations and facts, but rather on one or two intense experiences - which of course - are not representative of reality.

These are not so much beliefs as "impressions", which are imprinted on the mind during traumatic experiences. The mind then identifies this particular stimulus with this emotionally charged feeling, and when we think of it, we feel fear and other emotions. We do not go through thinking processes here such as analyzing, evaluating and coming to conclusions. This kind of "belief" has a strong "emotional charge" but no actual inertia or mass, because it is not based on observations and facts, but rather on one or two intense experiences - which of course - are not representative of reality.

b. Mistaken Childhood Conclusions - These are usually mistaken beliefs about a reality in which we perceive ourselves as weak, wrong, unlovable and to blame for just about everything that happens around us such as our parents anger, absence, unhappiness, indifference, divorce, illness, death etc. We falsely interpret that we are unworthy or unable and that others will always behave towards us in ways that we experienced in childhood.

These first two categories are usually repressed in the subconscious mind (shadow, inner child - whatever you prefer) because of the pain and confusion they produce. We suppress them so that we can focus and function in our daily lives. They are encased in an "energy membrane" much as our body envelopes a sliver or cut in our skin in order to prevent it from poisoning the rest of the body.

Although these "beliefs" are repressed so that we do not feel the unpleasant negative emotional-energy charge associated with them, they are activated whenever we come into contact with or think of the specific stimulus. They generate fear, emotional withdrawal and often aggressive behavior. They also create psychosomatic illnesses. They control our reactions to events, situations and persons.

Because of their repression and subsequent isolation from our conscious mind, these first two belief systems do not evolve as we do. They remain in their original state regardless of our evolving logic, reasoning, new experiences and spiritual faith. Unless we engage in inner psychological or spiritual work, they receive no new data.

The third category of beliefs is our:

c. Evolving Conscious Belief System:

This is our conscious belief system which, as it processes new data, reevaluates its perceptions of reality seeking to make the adjustments necessary in order to understand the truths behind the phenomena we observe.

This is actually evolving in only some people. Many have stopped processing new data and thus have remained with the same conscious belief system for many years and will leave their bodies with it.

This belief system understands that we are safe, secure, good, worthy and capable. It also realizes that we are not in danger from people, heights, cars, insects, dogs, cats, elevators, airplanes etc.

The facts available to it cause it to realize that its fears are unfounded. It realizes that our self-worth has nothing to do with what others say, think or do.

Yet we continue to experience fear and its resulting emotions due to our previous two categories of beliefs, (Emotionally Charged Impressions and Mistaken Childhood Conclusions) which are isolated from and usually stronger than our Evolving Conscious Belief System.

b. Our Spiritual Intuitive Faith constructs our fourth category of beliefs. These beliefs are usually based on faith rather than proof. We feel that what we believe is true. In addition to being affected by others' spiritual beliefs, we also experience inner awakenings or revelations in which we just "know" that something is true.

The last two conscious categories of beliefs are usually weak when confronted with specific stimuli, which awaken our first two repressed categories. We may have total faith in our immortality or in divine wisdom and justice, but when confronted with stimuli that awaken our Emotionally Charged Impressions and Mistaken Childhood Conclusions, the power of these later two often temporarily overshadow our faith and logic.

We have simultaneous multiple beliefs, which are working at different levels creating conflicting emotions and reactions to events and situations. We can simultaneously feel love, peace, hurt and anger because our various beliefs are creating different internal realities.

YOUR PERSONALITY TYPE

No one is all together an inward Introvert or an outward Extravert, and many tend toward the center of the spectrum. Often the people-pleasing extravert is valued more highly in society than the reflective introvert, but they are of equal value. Jung noted that our unconscious expresses the opposite side, creating a personal balance between both tendencies.

Thinking types see time as linear, and relate the past to the present and future for an orienting reference and to plot choices. They are decisive. The other three types embody particular dimensions of the time line. Feeling types dwell on the past, positive or negative. Sensation types live for the moment with little regard for consequences. Intuitives invest themselves in potential, in anticipation of future actualization. But no matter what type you are, you can ENVISION YOUR FUTURE to good effect, with focus and purpose.
 

Sensation Person (S): Physical world is the primary basis of personality and main focus is on the details and concreteness of reality, attention to immediate stimuli. Body oriented. Aesthetic sensibility and sensuality. Gives great attention to detail, to getting things just right, ignoring the larger perspective, or the feeling level of a situation. Strong sense of physical competence, manual dexterity, responsive in crisis. Wants to act on and concretize intuitions or hunches.

Engineers, rule followers, lawyers, office workers, accountants, emergency and medical workers, and perfectionists fall generally within this type. The present - the here and now - is their predominant orientation. Intense sense of the transitory nature of things. Loves variety and mobility.

Motivated by desires more than ideas or plans. Observant; close to the physical environment. Insists on self-sufficiency, and control of self and others; manipulative. Tends toward pessimism. Values social structure. Desires peak experiences; thrill seeking; loves mysteries, magic and games. Magnetic, vital, reactive, superstitious, charming; knows what pleases others.

Intuitive Types (N): The intuitive is the opposite of the sensation person with more imaginative than active energy. Intuition is subconscious or subliminal information, a mental perception without a physical cause; source of insiration, creativity, nevel ideas and imagery. Vision or 6th sense is the primary basis of personality; highly imaginative, living in a complex mental world.

Relatively indifferent to the “real,” utilitarian world. Unobservant of surroundings. They can’t be bothered with details, are concerned more with gestalts, with perceiving the whole, with having great insights, and with unlimited creativity. They often start many projects but finish very few because of lack of ability to deal with details. Sudden insights, global thinking and creative ideas out of the blue are their forte. They believe in destiny, spirituality.

Charismatic, inspirational. Cannot structure time, get carried away, disregard consequences, excessive, very communicative. Theoretical physicists, innovators, creators, therapists, esoterics, psychics, pathfinders, and the slightly bizarre number in the ranks of intuitives. Egalitarian, regardless of social roles. The intuitive is always focused on the future, on potential so is optimistic, fun-loving, excitable, eccentric, changeable. Charms and moves others. The present is never good enough, and the past is quickly forgotten.

Thinking Types (T): The organizers of society, with facts, ideas, or people. Needs structure, routine, and direction. Intellectually considered motives; deductive; scholarly; highly verbal and witty and dynamic. Thinking involves making or discovering conscious links between people or things. Systems thinkers; conceptual, principled, logical, sensible, rational; idea and theory-oriented. Intolerant of chaos or ambiguity. The head guides the heart with ideas generating feeling, rather than the reverse.

Seeks the reasons for things; logical consistency is main value. Just, ethical, and compassionate if judgmental. Vulnerable to emotional arousal, disillusionment. Feelings activated by others; cool or cold and self-critical, serious; hard to comfort yet seeks approval. Competitive; headstrong. Desires impact; authoritative and freely gives advice.

Mathematicians, some teachers, executives, lawyers, bridge players, and the somewhat cool and objective are generally among the thinking types. Thinking bridges time past, present, and future; temporal continuity is important. They easily structure time, and enjoy following the process of things; somewhat linear. Writers are often found in this category, if the subject matter is rational.

Feeling Types (F): Feeling is the relational function keying on the emotional impact of past events. It is a kind of judging or evaluation. Feeling is the expression of positive and negative energy -attraction or repulsion, worthiness for acceptance or rejection. “I like this and I don’t like that.” Places the highest value on intimacy. Steers by feeling values and processes in relationship. As with thinking, its opposite, feeling organizes reality, including involvement with life’s cycles and nature. It does not perceive reality, as does intuition, but reacts to it. They seem to live the relational life at double intensity. Very aware of cyclic nature of life, yet slow and reluctant to change.

Emotional intelligence. Feeling types are emotionally aware and versatile; practical, grounded, empathic, compassionate, romantic, personal, sentimental. Enchanting, warm, responsive, sensitive. They read and express feelings accurately, perceiving nuance, detecting shades of emotion. Fanatical and emotional in thought. Highly sensitive to emotional climates and others; diplomatic, naturally therapeutic; strong desire to belong. Needs affection and can appear dependent, vulnerable.

Interested in growth and engagement of personality. They are the harmonizers and socializers who work well with people, finding the right words, saying the right things and responding to others’ needs. Sees and rejects manipulation by others. These are teachers, therapists, novelists, great gossipers and dancers, who love body contact. High potential for negative emotionalism; experience the greatest ‘freakouts;’ vulnerable to self-pity and vindictiveness (Drama Queen).

Many of us fear being or becoming the Nothing that most accurately reflects our essence. But it is really when we are "something" that trouble arises, the limitations or stuckness of our ingrained patterns. All limitation is imaginary.

There are Four Basic Desires and conflicts: wanting to control or be controlled, desiring approval or disapproval, craving security or insecurity, and wanting separation or oneness.

Pitfalls take us down obsolete reality tunnels where we enact our self-defeating patterns in trance-like ways.  These Life Traps include a variety of scripts and games which can be resolved by following them to their origins and dissolving them:

"I'm Worthless" Defectiveness Trap
"I'm Better Than You Are." Top Dog Arrogance Trap
"Please Don't Leave Me." Abandonement Trap
"I Can't Trust You" Mistrust and Abuse Trap
"I Never Get the Love I Need" Emotional Deprivation Trap
"I Don't Fit In"  Social Exclusion Trap
"I Can't Make It on My Own" Dependence Trap
"Catastrophe is About to Strike" Vulnerability Trap
"I Feel Like Such a Failure" Failure Trap
"I Always Do It Your Way" Subjugation Trap
"Its Never Quite Good Enough" Unrelenting Standards Trap
"I Can Have Whatever I Want" Entitlement Trap
"It's Someone Else's Fault" Blame Trap
"I Give Too Much" Victim Trap

MILESTONES OF CREATIVITY
Creative people share the following:

1. They are able to enjoy SILENCE.
2. They connect with and enjoy NATURE.
3. They trust their FEELINGS.
4. They can enjoy and function in the midst of CHAOS and CONFUSION.
5. They are CHILDLIKE, engaging in fantasy and play.
6. They are SELF-REFERENTIAL.
7. They are not rigidly attached to any POINT OF VIEW.

EVOLUTION OF BELIEF PARADIGMS

The sophistication of our beliefs about the way ourselves and the world works has evolved over time.  But not everyone lives in the Present, with a belief system that is consistent with our current rational knowledge.  Beliefs are influenced by emotional and psychosocial pressures. 

Many people are firmly invested in the spiritual practices of by-gone eras, for good or not so good.  Regardless, time and technology march on, impacting our psychophysical organism with challenges never faced by humanity before. The future-oriented are already living there. As has been pointed out: "The future is already here; it just isn't evenly distributed." To truly live mindfully in the Now, which is all we ever actually have, is to live at your Cosmic Zero Point http://myzeropoint.50megs.com

For thousands of years, tribes were so well adapted to their environments, they had little need to evolve. Their worldviews and reality differed, but not so overwhelmingly as for repressed cognitive dissonance to drive them to higher-numbered stages

Belief systems are like reality wormholes into the past.  Part of us can live in the 14th, 17th, or 19th century, depending on eclectic spiritual ideas we have embraced or gotten stuck in. The same individual, such as a religious scientist, can embrace conflicting beliefs from different centuries. Compartmentalization is the only way to deny this cognitive dissonance.

Self-regulatory techniques can be adopted without this psychological baggage, with or without maintaining the spiritual or religious context. Somewhere on the planet, humans are living in every niche of the evolutionary belief spectrum.  Which existential experience you perceive depends on the filters of your options (environment), beliefs and values.

Each stage represents a limited understanding and repressions until its liabilities force us into the next stage. Alternating stages are self-expressive and social. First new traits and states are emergent; then they stabilize. Our archetypal experiences can be regressions or expressions of our present highest state of development or emergent, then stabilized intuitions of still higher states. Each stage is a worldview with its own needs, belief style and existential ground. Each is its own trance state, a lens through which the world is perceived with certain distortions. Each can be a trap of complacency as we enjoy its rewards.

Stage 1: Archaic: Survival, the Ground Zero of Existence. Self-preservation, isolation; antisocial. Paranoid or idiosyncratic beliefs.

Stage 2: Tribal: Truster/Trickster. Social; love, belonging. Self-sacrifice vs. selfishness. Transgression; taboo. Ethnocentric magical and superstitious beliefs.

Stage 3: Egocentric: Power; Esteem; Autonomy, heroic. Unscrupulous Competition/Hero. Shame vs. honor. Exploitation vs. Respect. Mythic beliefs.

Stage4: Moral/Patriotic.  Rules; Initiative. Shame and guilt vs. conformity and conventionality; purpose, virtue. Systematized truths. Emotional, nostalgic beliefs.

Stage 5: Materialist. Reasoning; mental analysis. Rational beliefs, truth; goodness; consumerism, greed. Head vs. heart. Progressive if rewarded, compulsive, workaholic. Perspective. Rational beliefs.

Stage 6: Wise Empath. Service, rapport, intimacy, empathy. Politically correct.. Inner wisdom, meaning. Self-actualization. Intuitive, mystical beliefs.

Stage 7: Distancer/Self. Paradoxical; individuated, reclusive; universalist. Deconstruction and Synthesis, gestalt, the big picture. Integral, synergetic beliefs.

Stage 8: Global Village. Complex Dynamic Beliefs. “Express Self Now, but not at the expense of Others or the World, so that Life May Continue.” (Graves) Sustainable beliefs.

As the most advanced mental structure, the Self resists ordinary articulation so completely that, according to Jung, it is the primary object of mysticism. Indeed, an experience of the Self also constitutes one of Reality, because the two reflect each other, providing (again, according to Jung) para-psychological knowledge of and influence over Reality. Jung considers the Self as a repository of all archetypes, which is, among other things, a way of saying that someone advanced in Stage Seven has experienced all the preceding ones, and, as part of a final dialectic between conscious and unconscious, is likely to refine mastery over the preceding ones. (Whitlark, 2006)

The ENNEAGRAM: Your psychological type.

1 Reformer: I do everything the right way. "produces order"
2 Helper: I must help others. "humble goodness"
3 Motivator: I need to succeed. "Succ-esssss"
4 Romantic: I am unique. "tragedy queen"
5 Thinker: I need to understand the world. "full of disclaimers"
6 Skeptic: I am affectionate and skeptical. "fortress mentality"
7 Enthusiast: I am happy and open to new things. "dizzy flirt"
8 Leader: I must be strong. "I'm Stalin!"
9 Peacemaker: I am at peace. "diversions" Zodiacs

JUNGIAN TYPES

Jung defined FOUR PSYCHOLOGICAL FUNCTIONS: Sensation, Feeling, Thinking and Intuition. He also classified people as Introverts or Extroverts and Perceivers or Judgers. The combinations yield 16 types:

INTP: "Architect". Greatest precision in thought and language. Can readily discern contradictions and inconsistencies. The world exists primarily to be understood. 1% of the total population.

INTJ: "Scientist". Most self-confident and pragmatic of all the types. Decisions come very easily. A builder of systems and the applier of theoretical models. 1% of the total population.

INFP: "Questor". High capacity for caring. Calm and pleasant face to the world. High sense of honor derived from internal values. 1% of the total population.

INFJ: "Author". Strong drive and enjoyment to help others. Complex personality. 1% of the total population.

ENFJ: "Pedagogue". Outstanding leader of groups. Can be aggressive at helping others to be the best that they can be. 5% of the total population.

ENFP: "Journalist". Uncanny sense of the motivations of others. Life is an exciting drama. 5% of the total population.

ENTJ: "Field Marshall". The basic driving force and need is to lead. Tend to seek a position of responsibility and enjoys being an executive. 5% of the total population.

ENTP: "Inventor". Enthusiastic interest in everything and always sensitive to possibilities. Non-conformist and innovative. 5% of the total population.

ISFP: "Artist". Interested in the fine arts. Expression primarily through action or art form. The senses are keener than in other types. 5% of the total population.

ISTP: "Artisan". Impulsive action. Life should be of impulse rather than of purpose. Action is an end to itself. Fearless, craves excitement, master of tools. 5% of the total population.

ISFJ: "Conservator". Desires to be of service and to minister to individual needs - very loyal. 6% of the total population.

ISTJ: "Trustee". Decisiveness in practical affairs. Guardian of time- honored institutions. Dependable. 6% of the total population.

ESTJ: "Administrator". Much in touch with the external environment. Very responsible. Pillar of strength. 13% of the total population.

ESFJ: "Seller". Most sociable of all types. Nurturer of harmony. Outstanding host or hostesses. 13% of the total population.

ESTP: "Promotor". Action! When present, things begin to happen. Fiercely competitive. Entrepreneur. Often uses shock effect to get attention. Negotiator par excellence. 13% of the total population.

ESFP: "Entertainer". Radiates attractive warmth and optimism. Smooth, witty, charming, clever. Fun to be with. Very generous. 13% of the total population.

PURE CONSCIOUSNESS

All Potential
Freedom
Unboundedness
Self-Sufficiency
Bliss
Integrating
Self-Referral
Invincibility
Perfect Balance
Fully Awake Within Itself
Simplicity
Unmanifest
Harmonizing
Infinite Correlation
Infinite Dynamism
Infinite Silence
Pure Knowledge
Infinite Organizing Power
Perfect Orderliness
Infinite Creativity
Purifying
Healing
Evolutionary
Nourishing
Immortality